The Hardest Thing
by Yttan
Summary: He loves her, will that be enough to keep her? Remus Lily.


The best moment of my best friends life, was my worst.

"R-remus?" She said nervously, "Could we talk?"

I looked up from my Charms homework. "Sure." I said and got up to follow her.

After many twists and turns we arrived in a deserted classroom, she placed her books on a table in the corner and motioned for me to do the same. Her silence was concerning me, normally we would talk until we reached our destination. Then we would do what we pleased. No one knew of our secret relationship, but that didn't matter, having her was enough. As long as I had her nothing could bring me down, not even my lycanthropy. She said she would love me no matter what. Knowing that would always be enough, or so I thought.

I stepped forward to kiss her, but she moved away, just out of my reach. "Lily… is something wrong?"

She took a shaky deep breath. "Y-yes."

I immediately walked forward again to wrap my arms around her, but hesitated when I remembered what happened when I tried to kiss her. I settled with staring into her eyes and trying to read the thoughts they concealed. "What is it Lily? Whatever it is we can get though it."

"I don't think we can Remus…" Her voice was just above a whisper as she finally leaned forward and pressed a feather light kiss against my lips. She pulled back far too soon and swept across the classroom to sit in the corner.

I studied her quietly, a tinge of fear began to settle in my stomach. Lily wasn't like this, not normally. The only time she acted this way was when James did something particularly offensive to get her to notice him. 'That must be it' I thought gloomily.

"What did he do this time?" I asked her gently as I sat down near her.

Lily scooted over till she was close enough to rest her head on my shoulder, then she started sobbing. Though I was better with distressed girls than most blokes I still wasn't used to it, so it startled me.

I patted her back awkwardly and whispered what I hoped were soothing words.

Lily's crying eventually subsided and she looked up. 'She is one of the few people who still look good after they've been crying' I thought, amused.

She drew in a deep breath before speaking. "He asked me out again, you know, to Hogsmeade this weekend."

Living in the same dorm as your best friend was great, except for the fact that I was dating his crush. Well… maybe crush wasn't the right word. Obsession sounds closer.

"And?" I asked gently.

She took another deep breath and looked me in the eyes. That told me all I needed to know. She had said yes. She had grown so tired of James' constant asking her out that she had caved and agreed.

"Oh." I said, shock still rippling through my body.

"I'm sorry, Remus, but I don't think that this will work out. I-I need more… and I understand were you're coming from, keeping us from everyone but… I just can't do this anymore. I'm sorry." She said this all so fast it left me reeling. It was only when she got up to leave I reached out and caught her.

Lily had tears in her eyes as she looked at my hand on her arm. "Remus please don't make this harder than it already is."

"He did something more, didn't he?" I demanded, imagining ways to kill James without getting caught.

Lily shook her head. "Remus, all he did was ask me out. All I did was accept."

"There's more." My words were softer this time, but my grip on her arm grew tighter.

She looked up, a tinge of guilt colored her eyes. "Yes…"

"Please tell me, Lily."

"He's your best friend and I've seen what stress it puts on you to know that he's always chasing after me. I decided to end it." She put a finger over my mouth to silence my response. "You can't change my mind."

"Lily, It doesn't matter! Sure I'm stressed, but my lycanthropy is the reason! Not James and definitely not you!

She shook her head. "Remus, I love you and I always will, but this just doesn't feel right… I'm sorry." Lily kissed me gently, before she quietly left. I knew that was the last time I would even feel her lips against my own and I stood there alone for hours, thinking about what she had said.

Several years later I was the best man for my best friend. I should have been happy. But how happy can you be when its your first and only love he's marrying?

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Edited by my WONDERFUL friend Ali! My first ever finished fic. Harry Potter was my first obsession, and its all my dearest Ali's fault for getting me into R/L! Hope you enjoyed my little piece, thank you for reading and please reveiw!  



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